I feel that way too and I’m sure many others do as well! When you’ve been ill for so long, you forget who the old You was, and you begin to think Ill You is the only you there is. You wonder, why recover when recovery means I won’t know who I am anymore? You wonder, will I be a person worth knowing if I don’t have my illness looming over my head anymore? That can be a major reason against recovery, but trust me, recovery is still worth it. Rediscovering your old self, with the added wisdom and knowledge that comes with battling an illness, is a truly rewarding experience.
I think about dying but I dont want to die. Not even close. In fact my problem is the complete opposite. I want to live, I want to escape. I feel trapped and bored and claustrophobic. There’s so much to see and so much to do but I somehow still find myself doing nothing at all. I’m still here in this metaphorical bubble of existence and I can’t quite figure out what the hell I’m doing or how to get out of it.Matty Healy (via tapwaterfanclub)
have u ever had a depersonalization moment when you look at yourself in the mirror and think wow this person is me and i have this body and this life and everything feels so strange why am i me and not someone else